Have you have been through a high conflict divorce? If so, it’s likely you feel that your ex-spouse is unbearable. You probably can’t stand to be anywhere near him or her. This is normal, and to be expected. But when it comes to special events for your child, it is so important to hold yourself together, put aside all your negative feelings and issues for the day, and be civil for the sake of your child. Events like a child’s graduation or wedding are about celebrating your child, not creating a tense war zone of awkwardness with your ex-spouse.

Ideally, in a divorce, both parties are civil and can agree on things like child custody, child support, division of property, and alimony without too much arguing. Realistically, this is often not the case. The end of a marriage is stressful and tempers run hot. Sadly, children often get caught in the middle of this fighting, and it only adds to the stress and pressure the child is already feeling due to the fact that mom and dad are no longer together.

We all want the people we love and care about to be there with us to celebrate our big accomplishments. Your child didn’t choose the divorce, and they would probably like to forget about the whole thing for just one day. Let your child be the main focus of the day, and shower them with your love and admiration.

It can definitely be hard to act civil with your ex-spouse, especially is they caused you great pain and anguish, but your child will be extremely grateful for happy memories of their big day. Celebrate with your child, and remember, this is their day to shine!

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